Bliss and Mayhem

 One of the things (and there are only a few) that I miss living in the busy suburbs of Melbourne, is fresh cut flower. I used to at the very least, fortnightly, drive to my favourite small florist and get my little hands on a mixed variety of colourful vase holding delights. The desert makes it hard for a novice green thumb like I to grow my own. The farm plot that we own has a high salinity content in the soil which means a bit of work is needed in making up the correct soil with the correct goodness and ph. levels to sustain a colourful flower bed. I do admit however, that since our move to the Mallee Oasis, I have learnt quite a bit about the hobby that is gardening. I’m now more aware of the changing seasons, pruning is a term that I actually know what it means, and ever-green and deciduous are now terms I ask each time I go to a nursery to buy more trees. Succulents are a good beginner starter and I have fallen in love with the Elephant Ear Plant as well as the Mother in L...

 I was awoken early this morning by my gorgeous adopted Lara. She was barking to go for a little wee. It must have been about 3am and i stumbled out of bed, walked into the wardrobe doors, caught my foot on the edge of the bed frame and smashed into the bedroom door. Damage is a sore foot, bruised shoulder and an ego a little shattered that i no longer have extra magical orientation skills in the pitch dark.  So wobbling and hobbling to the coffee machine this morning - the standard ritual with a dose of anti depressant, i walked my feel sorry for myself little bod and commenced the daily ritual that has been the last 3 summers in the desert of sipping on my coffee, watching the sunrise while lighting the first cigarette for the day.  Yes folks. I'm still one of those that enjoys that nasty little habit.  There must be a little OCD in me as i then check the following apps religiously on my phone:  Calendar Period Tracker Instagram Bank Account Energy Au...

 I made a resolution this year to make no new years resolution. So far, so good. Planning and excel spreadsheets and lists – straight out the window. In times when those things should have helped, they didn’t – so out with the “be in control of every single thing, even the future that you cannot control, god damn it” and in with the “ what will be, will be, who the fuck cares anyway, just let it all go – mantra” Well someone forget to tell my closer to 40 than 30 year old body that there was a change in the status quo. The brain switch changed to ce la vie, and the body has turned into an absolute hurricane having absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on. Mind and Body for the last 2 years have been in fight, panic, despair mode. This has been the norm for quite some time now that in the last 48 hours, I think it has literally tried to shit itself and self-combobulate. I actually haven’t had a panic attack where I couldn’t move – until yesterday. For about 30 minutes lay fla...