48 people went camping

 " Let's go camping"

"It'll be fun" 

 

And it really was. The End. 

 Just kidding. That would've been the quickest and shortest post possibly in the history of blogging. But it does give you premise to how part of the conversation initally started. 

 I am not a camper. To repeat, not a camper. My idea of camping is in a caravan, at a caravan park with running water, toilets and showers. The idea of doing the whole bush thing, squatting to do poos and wee's freaks me out. But, I am and yes person to experiences so when the opportunity arose - there was a firm "yes" from me, despite my hesitation. 

We went for two nights and three days. 

I packed supplies enough for us to be stuck in the wild for two months....

 

I literally brought with us {including the entire house!} 17 cans of spaghetti and baked beans! There was going to be no shortage of sustenance or farting! 

 I still pinch myself to the beauty of the area that I live in. Being on the cusp of the Yarra Valley in Victoria, we are a 5 minute drive away from this:

 

 

At last count, there were 48 people that all camped together that weekend. That's a whole lot of people, people! We stayed about 40 minutes outside of Mansfield, down a dirt track on the edge of the lake, 11 km down a windy road to a camp lot. Once I inspected the drop toilet {which actually wasn't too bad} we were set to unload the mountain of goods we brought with us and relax. 

Guys, there are still really nice people in the world. We only knew one family that was going camping and the rest welcomed us with open arms and made us feel at home. Kids were riding their bikes, collecting long sticks for Marshmallow roasting nights, exploring the little creek down the way and getting nice and grubby and muddy as you do out in the bush. While the ladies sorted out food and mostly importantly their drink of choice for the day, the men had chainsaws going for cutting up big chunks of wood for this:

 

There's something about sitting around a fire at night. Words don't need to be said if you don't want to. Staring at the dance of flames and feeling the heat beat off your face, I must say is truly calming. A camp fire, brings people together. 

A camp fire get's you thinking too.

So it sounds all great, hey? 

90% of our weekend away was awesome. Going off grid even meant that my phone didn't work so I had 3 days of no Facebook notifications, no emails, no calls - It was like having a technological detox. 

The 10% knocked me about a little. Anxiety visited. Again. And all of it stemmed from my grief and sadness of my friends passing away last year. The last time that we went away in this area was Labour Day weekend where we set out as a group of us to finish the road trip that our friends never completed due to their motorbike accident. It was, in part a healing time and a good time away. Here's us, travelling through the Great Alpine Road in our soon to be restored Mustang:

 

 

Even though were weren't there on that day when our friends were fatally injured, the sadness, grief, shock and trauma is still so very present in my life today still. Grief never leaves us. I don't think it gets easier as time goes on, just more time goes on. 

So, meeting up this last weekend with two of the other families just down the road from home so we could travel to the camp-site together, brought on major anxiety for me. Normally travelling together pre those events would have been fun and reassuring. Now, I was absolutely petrified that something was going to happen. When I feel this fear coming on, I notice my hands turning inwards and forming a tight fist. My nails dig in to my palms and I am completely on edge. Travelling in convoy is supposed to be a good thing. For me, it isn't. 

Motorbikes freak me out now too. Steve used to have a sports bike and I loved putting on all my gear, jumping on the back with my hot pink helmet and going for a cruise. This now, is a distant memory. Every time I see a motorbike on the road, I get the sweats and panic. So seeing plenty of dirt bikes riding past our camp site was not good for me. Seeing an ambulance and cop car race down the dirt track to attend to a dirt bike accident and hearing the the person had to be air lifted out, was not good for me. In general, I am petrified of losing another person that I love. 

But instead of letting my fear and grief implode and control my life, I try to push through the anxiety and the fear and be a person that says "yes" to the experience. I am still here. My kids and man are here. I want to enjoy the moments that can be made by saying yes to life. By saying, okay, it may be scary but I've got people around me that will hold my hand and be there if I need it. 

So will we be going camping again? 

 

This "yes" gal, will be saying a "hell yeah!"