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A few nights ago, I watched the doco-movie about Amy Winehouse. I had known of her, had listened to some of her music, but let’s say I never really followed the paparazzi fuelled exposure that was up until her death.
This movie, which documents Amy’s life in never seen before footage timelines from the ages of 14 until 27 where she was found dead after a history of drug and alcohol abuse.
It has stayed in the back of my mind ever since. You never really know what is really going on for someone. But I can truly and whole heartedly empathise with was I saw, a young woman seemingly spiraling out of control and self medicating her pain.
It was her pain that I felt throughout the film. The pain of hopelessness, despair, loneliness and sadness. I understand those feelings, because I have had them many times throughout my life.
And I also know, what it feels like when you get to that place that you are just empty and seek anything to fill that void, numb the hurt and sadness, I get it.
Mental illness; as much as we now speak about it more openly, still has a stigma attached. Perhaps because its been such a silent thing for so long. Perhaps because people that have never experience those feelings or issues or anxiety or PND or addiction get on their high horse and gloat about how easy it is to just get over it.
Well, it isn’t easy for some.
The below words are from Amy Winehouse’s song “ Back to Black” . Some say that she is talking about her return to alcohol where others say that the phrase going “back to black” is a reference to the street word “black” for heroin. The genius of her lyricism is that if you read/listen to the words, it doesn’t have to be any literal meaning.
So when you get that instinctual gut feeling that someone you know is not okay. Go with that gut and put the feeling into action.
More love. Less stigma.
"Back To Black" - Amy Winehouse
He left no time to regret
Kept his dick wet
With his same old safe bet
Me and my head high
And my tears dry
Get on without my guy
You went back to what you knew
So far removed from all that we went through
And I tread a troubled track
My odds are stacked
I'll go back to black
We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to...
I go back to us
I love you much
It's not enough
You love blow and I love puff
And life is like a pipe
And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside
We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to...
We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to...
Black, black, black, black, black, black, black,
I go back to...
I go back to...
We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to...
We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to black
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