My normal has become a different normal.
Completely surreal, and I am trying to get my head around the events that happened in our circle on the 7th March this year.
We lost 2 friends in our group over that long weekend in a tragic motorbike accident. Grief is nothing like I have experienced before of this magnitude and the complete shock of what has happened I am still struggling to come to grips with.
You go on about your days and weeks doing the mundane bullshit, weeks turn to months and then another year goes by. Another Christmas. Another birthday. And we complain about crap all the time. Perspective is something that tragic events provide you so quickly. It makes you look at your own life, and magnifies the importance of the really important stuff, the stuff that should matter and it also highlights what is completely irrelevant. Completely irrelevant.
Family, health, relationships, memories – for me, this is what is important.
Happiness and love.
Above all … Love
We had 2 funerals in one week. For two beautiful people who lived their lives, enjoying the best of life, taking challenges in their stride and making moments.
Making moments.
Because, if you aren’t present in your own life – it could be gone before you realise it.
How do you move on? How do I accept that there will no longer be people that I expect will always be around to not be there? It is just so hard.
To honour Mark and Jodi, how do you do that justice? How do I carry on their memories for the rest of my life? The only way I know how to do this, is with more purpose.
More love.
More kindness.
More forgiveness.
More laughter.
More appreciation.
More life.
I know that my sadness in time will turn into smiles when I think of them both. I know that every time I hear a song that reminds me of times we had, tears will turn to happy thoughts of the memories. Grief is a process. And I am riding this with arms wide open – accepting of the flow and the ups and downs that we will have.
I will miss them so much.
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