Motherly Guilt. It's a thing.

 

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I am my biggest critic. I am also my biggest supporter. Funny how it works, these interesting minds of humans.

I had the one of the worst experiences happen a couple of years ago. It taught me perspective, humility, thought and taking stock. It also highlighted to me how we all go on and on and on  and on about bullshit really. Insignificant stuff, that doesn’t  really matter in the big scheme of it all.

I’ve also this year had some really big highs and really big lows. I lost two very special people in my life in a tragic motorbike accident early in the year. The grief has been overwhelming. Time has not healed this – my normal day is not normal anymore and I think about them every single day.

But Motherly Guilt. Motherly Guilt gets me every time. I really don’t care what other people think of me. I’m proud of the person that I am, proud of the way I conduct myself and focus on my bubble; which are my children and my man. They are the most important things in my life. Motherly guilt though, creeps up in the most unusual times and bestows its feelings of inadequacies so true that I sometime sit there and feel like the worst person in the world.

I don’t thermomix playdoh from scratch. I don’t make full wholesome meals every night. I’m not available to my children 24/7. I work full time (gah!). I look forward to holidays away with my man and having some childfree time. I do get snappy. I sometimes do count the minutes till its bedtime. Some would say that makes me a shit mother. And at times I would believe them.

But.

I love them with all of my being. They came out of my body; they are a part of me. I treat them with respect and teach them my values and talk to them like they are actually people. I laugh with them. I dance with them. I hug, kiss and tell them every single day that they are the most beautiful people I know. 

We are not given any instructions or manuals when it comes to parenting. Don’t let what other people think of you dictate your own perception of your self. We literally are sitting, holding on tight for most of the ride winging it. And I do the very best that I can with what I know. Fuck the Motherly Guilt.

So, if you, are ever like me and sit there wondering whether you are doing okay – YOU ARE. Let go of your Motherly Guilt. Learn to love the way that you are.

Time is so precious guys. Before you know it, it can be gone in an instant.