Ever since I can remember I have always been quite a vivid dreamer. Even as a child my dreams would be so real and I would even sleep talk in different languages. Places that I had never been to, and words that sounded so foreign, but to me, in my sleep talk, they came out so easily.
As I got older – the dreams remained but instead of nice dreams, most of them were apocalyptic style. So graphic and scary that I would wake in a pool of my own sweat with it taking a good few minutes to realise that I was back in reality and it was just a dream.
And, I always felt SO tired. I would complain about the tiredness all the time where even my family would say, “Come on Cheryl, stop saying you’re tired all the time”. That restful sleep had been eluding me for years.
Big dreams. Life or death dreams. Shit dreams. Nightmares really.
Last year I went to see a homeopathy therapist, out of curiosity mainly to see what I could do about my sleep, anxiety and feeling overwhelmed 99% of the time. Apparently my adrenal glands had been running on overdrive for years which may have contributed to the fact that my mind wouldn’t shut down for sleep and these dreams, heightened anxiety and busy mind were a symptom of what was happening inside of me. She spoke with me for over 2 hours, it was nice to unload to someone that didn’t know me, listened and was completely unbiased on my words that were coming out. She gave me some homeopathic blends to take and assured me that things would get better.
I slept non-stop with no “end of the world” dreams that night for 8 hours straight. I felt completely rested and recharged. I actually didn’t care whether it was a placebo effect or whether those drops did do something. Sleep happened. A shift had happened.
Since that time – I hardly ever dream. It doesn’t take me hours upon hours to fall to sleep. I wake up rested - I wake up alive. It’s so nice to wake up alive.
Last night I had a dream.
I dreamt that Ethan was in his twenties, a full grown, beautiful young man. I dreamt of me driving to go visit him. I met him at a pub that he was working and living at. He had the biggest most warming smile on his face when I arrived and was so proud to show me around. We had a pub meal together. Mother and Son, sitting together just talking. I can still feel the heart melt feeling in me of love. I can feel the warmth of the sunshine as we were sitting out the front of that pub having lunch together. I can recall his deep voice while he was chatting away to me.
It was the best of dreams. Bring on more dreams like that universe.
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