Bliss and Mayhem

 To my dearest-sweet-beautiful person in my life,  I've been quiet. I have also been distant, refrained and at times non-contactable. See, this anxiety beast that has grown over the last two years; it has been playing havoc with my insides. There are many times and days where I feel aokay, I am on top of the world - I smile, dance and laugh - and then this tiny burning feeling starts growing deep in my chest and it all comes crashing down around me - even if you cannot see it on the outside.  I understand, dearest-sweet-beautiful person in my life, how frustrating or confusing this may be for you. That in one instance, I seem fine and then the next, I don't reply to your text message for days. That's the mess that is, the Black Dog I suppose. It is such a thing in itself. Debilitating.  Dearest-sweet-beautiful person in my life - I'm here. 2017, has felt a little like an uphill marathon. Where seeing your name on my phone or reading your message can bring me to ...

 Social Media, has evolved to slowly encompass most facets of our lives. We "check in" most days, scroll through our feed,  "like" along the way and for many of us, it has become a habitual part of our daily routine. There is so much good to be said about Social Media. Providing instant connections, all over the world, having us all aware pretty much instantaneously of the happenings with a minute by minute breakdown if we wish to see. It's like having a daily get together with all your buddies and you having the peak hole into all their worlds and theirs into yours. It has become a generational obsession. A need, in a way to be "on". The days before mobile phones and the internet seem like the dinosaur ages now as many of us showcase our daily lives to our friends online to share with them our on going journey.  People like to be liked.  And it's really easy to fall into the trap believing that everything that you see in your feed is the "...

 Do you ever wonder when you are sitting in traffic or on the train, what the people around you lives are like? I do. All the time . The human condition fascinates me, how people tick and what make them tick.  It’s like thinking about the world – and then thinking how were are in our galaxy, then the universe. Once you start thinking about it, it gets bigger and bigger. Same, with people. It just gets bigger and bigger when you stop and think about it.  And then you break it down, like right down to your own immediate circle. The family and the friends that are in your own life. What makes them be who they are? What are their trigger points? What adversities have they encountered to get them to that point where you see them today?  So where am I going with all of this? Good question! I am so fortunate that I am surrounded by some of the most amazing people. From all walks of life, all with their own stories of triumph and despairs. Some, are close around me and s...

     This came up on my news feed recently:     If you don't follow Cate, you should.  We have a commonality with our care for humanity, connection to Bali, empathy and in the wonderful words of Cate, "just be fkn kind, okay?" Now, I try to see life with a cup half full , you know? However, don't be confused by my  smile and in most, happy persona to not have the ability to become enraged, disgusted, angry when the need arises.  My god, this post stirred up so many feels for me. I felt such anger towards this cock-head that had done this to my friend. I mean, who the fuck does this? Blackmail, made to feel cornered,  psychological abuse as well as emotional threats against your liberty is not on. Period. What has happened to Cate, infuriates me to the absolute core. We as women,  have the absolute right to express ourselves without the fear of it being used against us. We as women, should not be made to feel ...

   I was going to write a post.    ....... ........ ............       ............     Blink, blink,blink.   Damn blinking cursor.   So, I'll leave this here.       

     "If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month." Theodore Roosevelt Some of us just come up with the best sayings, hey? Wise words from a man that died nearly 100 years ago and yet boom, still so relevant.  So I ramble on here and on my Facebook page quite a bit about feeling burnt out. Even in my "about" I talk about forever searching for the elusive catch up on sleep that I have seemed to never catch up on since pushing out a couple of kids. I talk about the stresses in day to day life and my hate/hate relationship with my washing machine. And clothes folding, And anything related to folding them and putting away.  Get me? I'm a whinger, but a doer at the same time. Oxymoron anyone? I was sitting on my lounge over the weekend, headphones in watching the BEST SHOW EVER - Gilmore Girls, and glanced up to look out to my kitchen area.  Steve has spent the last 8 years renovati...

    The human condition has fascinated me forever. As a past over-thinker, I really enjoyed observing, analysing and forming assessments of that way and the why  people behaved and interacted.  What makes people tick, made me tick.  But with this over-thinking came plenty of anxiety because I would play words, ways things were said or not said, over and over and over again. It would bring on that anxiety of making me question my responses to situations; whether I acted correctly, said too much, not enough and was the entry point into the tailspin of paranoia and anxiety. Observation is beautiful - taking on someone else's story can be soul destructive.  Let me explain.  I've practised this outlook now for a couple of years since I got sick. You know that saying "don't make a mountain out of a mole hill?" I was the QUEEN of being constantly worried about what people thought of me. To say the right things, to be acknowledged, to be heard and m...